We arrived last night in Indiana after 2 days of driving from Boston. We decided to have dinner before ending our journey, and we had some of the best Middle Eastern food I've had in ages. I didn't know whether the kids would be game for this type of food, but I'm of the mind that kids generally will eat when they are hungry. The service was super fast, and my kids were hungry enough to try all sorts of things besides the tasty pita. Caleb discovered baba ghanouj, and Ellie enjoyed some of my lentil soup. We ordered a falafel plate for them, and they both liked the crunchy flavorful balls of chickpeas. I felt very proud that they tried new things and enjoyed them. They ate really well and behaved well too. By the way, anyone traveling through northwest Indiana should check this place out: Aladdin Pita Fine Middle Eastern Cuisine.
Then came this morning.
Grandpa and Grandma's house is very exciting. There are people who will pay attention to them ALL.THE.TIME. There are new toys (new to them). Who has time for food?
My kids played for at least 1-2 hours before eating anything. Caleb probably played even longer as he woke up at 5:30am (the foul words I think of that hour are not appropriate here). While the grandparents were showering and such, I managed to get both kids to eat some yogurt. Not enough to fill them up, but maybe enough until everyone was ready for a fuller breakfast. The kids ate fruit and picked at cereal during the so-called breakfast.
We eventually head out to a playground. It was hot, humid, and downright icky air quality, but the kids ran themselves out. When I couldn't bear the heat and humidity any longer, we head to the grocery store to pick up a few more things for our week here. I met up with Aaron at the cheese counter and discovered that Caleb was DONE. Done, you ask, what does that mean?
Aaron had acquired samples of cheese for the kids. Caleb was unable to accept the sample from Aaron. Aaron would offer, and Caleb would stomp and sulk. Eventually he took the cheese. Then he said he needed something to put it on, so he sat on the floor of the store and put his cheese down on its tissue paper on the floor. Ew. I instructed him to stand. He whined and again tried to find a place to put the cheese down. I suggested his mouth as a good place for it. He yelled at me. Eventually he ate the cheese. We made it to the checkout. He started picking up junk food in the checkout. I told him we were not buying it. WHY???!?!?!?!? I considered not answering him based on his whiny screaming, but I told him that the junk food wasn't on the list and we would eat lunch at Grandma's house. He sat grumpily on the floor again. Grandma asked if he wanted to walk with her to pick up her prescription. He mumbled incoherently. We think he said yes. As he went to walk with her, the junk food distracted him again. Then he realized he wasn't walking with Grandma and our checkout experience sounded like this:
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDMMAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
I explained that he would see her again soon, that she just went to get her prescription.
"Buh-buh---but I wanted to be WITH HER!!!!!"
I explained he missed that when he picked up the junk food that I said we weren't buying. I mentioned that I knew he was tired and hungry to which he angrily yelled "NO I'M NOT!!"
I told Aaron I was escorting Master Caleb from the store and that we would see them all at the car. I carried 38 pound Caleb to the car in the 90 degree, 99% humidity weather. No, we were not in the first row.
As he screamed in the blessedly air-conditioned car, I considered what caused this meltdown. It's not like he wants to scream and rage at us. Here's what Aaron and I came up with:
- Not enough sleep. Caleb was up until at least 10 and woke around 5-5:30.
- Not enough food/water. We didn't give the kids any food at the playground, and they didn't eat enough breakfast (and probably a bad balance of foods)
- Temperament. Transitions are challenging for Caleb. Caleb is very persistent and fixates quickly/easily on ideas and plans. When the basics of food and rest are covered, we usually navigate transitions and disappointments reasonably well. Thanks to #1 and #2, this disappointment was an epic fail.
So how did we get out of this mess? For starters, we didn't drive until Caleb could get his screaming under control. This took a few minutes in the car (maybe 5-10). Then food became top priority as soon as we walked in the door at the grandparents' house. I made the current favorite sandwiches for both kids (PB&J - my kids are classic, though a bit boring) and added lots of veggies. Caleb got cukes, tomatoes and olives. Ellie got cukes until she promised not to spit out the olives. I was shocked to see her eat the olives. Maybe she prefers black to kalamata olives? Never complain when they eat vegetables. OK, olives technically are a fruit as are the dates I gave them too. :) I never saw Caleb eat, but his plate was empty and he seemed calmer.
A very wise parent once said to me, "There are at least three things you cannot force a child to do: sleep, use the toilet, or eat." We parents often wish we could make our kids do some combination of those three activities. I wish I could have made Caleb eat an adequate breakfast this morning and/or sleep more last night. It was not in his grand plans, and we all paid a price. What I hope he can take from this experience is that sometimes he needs to eat and that not eating can make him really cranky. After all, don't we all need to eat so we feel good?
We're about to head on another road trip, so I thought I should take a few moments to write a bit about food away from home. Between trying to lose weight, trying to teach my kids good eating habits, AND trying to eat real food, travel can be a challenge. When we went to NY last weekend, I was certain that I would gain weight. By the time of my weigh-in this week, I had lost 2 pounds, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do that between Sunday and Wednesday. So what's working for us?
Road Trip Snacks
Being in the car for a long time can be really boring, and often we're in the car when we would normally eat. The kids end up asking for snacks, which can trigger me to think I NEED a snack. Snacks actually help me not overeat later, so I just need to make sure that the snacks we have are reasonably healthful and diverse.
We try to take fresh fruit and veggies with us. This time of year, plums are plentiful in New England. We also happen to have bananas because both kids have had their on again, off again love affairs with them. For me, a banana is quite filling for a snack. In the past month, the kids have enjoyed cucumber sticks (peel a cucumber and slice it such that the pieces look like sticks), so we usually have some of those. We pack some of their favorites like Vinta crackers and Annie's Bunnies. The crackers are not my favorite snacks for the kids, but I think I need to be practical on a road trip. Another item we pack for the kids is Trader Joe's fruit bars like these. They come in several flavors: strawberry, blueberry, fig, apple. Again this is not the ideal snack since it is a processed food, but we set some limits about them and tend to offer the real fruit and veggies first.
For my crunchy "fix," I pack Ak-Mak crackers, which I think are the most awesome cracker EVER. I wish my kids would get excited about these, but I'm selfishly glad they aren't yet. ;) They're all mine... *evil cackle* Anyway, they are low in Weight Watcher points for a pretty good serving size, and I like the taste and texture. I've seen them in regular grocery stores as well as Trader Joe's.
Snacks on the road are part of the story for successful eating away from home. But of course that's not all of what works for us.
Smart Eating Out Choices
There are some foods I simply avoid or limit when I'm away from home. Truthfully, those foods are probably the same ones I limit when I'm at home, but somehow it seems more challenging to limit them away from home. Here are some examples:
Chips with salsa or dip - I don't avoid these entirely, but I take only a few chips and then back away from the dish very consciously. Road trips where the end destination is a family gathering usually means some kind of hors d'oeuvres or "munchies" before the meal, so I try to limit how much crunchy stuff I have. If there is an interesting dip or salsa, I try a chip or 2 with that interesting topping and then I back away. I look for the vegetables or I leave the food altogether for any non-food activity.
Deep-fried or cream-based meals - If I have the choice, I order or choose some food prepared in another way. If I don't have the choice, then I am very aware of the portion I'm having, and I try to fill half of my plate with fruits and vegetables.
Salads that aren't green - Potato salad, macaroni salad, Ambrosia/5-cup "salad"... all very yummy, and all not so great for my weight loss goals. As for whether I want my kids to eat these foods, I certainly let them try a small portion of anything being offered, but I don't make these rich foods the centerpiece of any meal. I let my kids know when something is a treat/special, and I don't force them to eat these foods especially if they say they don't like them (Caleb claims not to like potato or mac/pasta salad). I usually give myself a very small portion (think about 1/4 c at most) and only eat it if the first bite tastes good.
Desserts - When we're on the road, especially for family visits, it's hard to say no to desserts. I have slightly different rules for me than for my kids. I eat desserts which seem worth it. Chocolate is worth it to me, especially as a homemade baked good. Store-bought baked goods probably aren't worth it. Ice cream is hit or miss as I have become an ice cream snob. For the kids, they have a small portion of dessert because I don't want to make any food off-limits or taboo to them. From a very young age, I tell them that dessert is not an everyday experience and that some foods are once-in-a-while foods. I let them know what foods are good growing foods, and I've been rather blunt about risks of eating out of proportion. My kids get really excited about watermelon as well as cupcakes, and I've seen both of them choose the fruit over the baked good. Maybe there is hope for them not to have quite the food struggles that I have. They know that we don't have baked goods and ice cream at home most nights, and I think they might start to make the association that dessert when on the road is something different from eating it all the time at home.
Restaurants - I haven't mentioned restaurants yet. Maybe it's because restaurants remain hard for me. For my kids, they don't read yet, so I can limit their choices to better options on the kids' menus. For me, I look for options with lots of vegetables but not necessarily salads. I look for foods which I know will fill me up more than a sandwich or a huge plate of pasta. Isn't it funny how eating a ton of pasta makes you feel full while you're at the restaurant but then you're hungry not long after leaving?
When we bought food on the streets of Manhattan, I looked for foods that were easily identified as "REAL FOOD" and not processed much. Yes, I had some of the hot pretzels we bought for the kids - several glorious delicious bites, in fact. For lunch, I saw burritos made fresh with grilled chicken and lots of veggies, rice, salsa, and other toppings. The kids had quesadillas; Aaron had chicken souvlaki, and I had one of the best burritos I've ever had. Sure, I could have bought a hot dog or some fried chicken or who-knows-what else on 6th Avenue. And no, the burrito probably wasn't the absolute best option for me that day. However, for road food, it was great. The portion seemed reasonable; it was delicious; it filled me up.
Anyway, I hope some of these late-night ramblings give you ideas for your next road trip. I remember stopping at all sorts of fast-food restaurants when on road trips as a kid. Other than the mall food court in Danbury, CT, I don't recall the last time my family went for fast-food on a road trip. It doesn't seem hard to me to avoid the drive-thru with my family, and maybe you will consider avoiding fast-food on your next trip.
Short post here with a simple question:
What do you do with the candy your kids get from going to birthday parties?
I try to avoid feeding my kids foods with HFCS (high fructose corn syrup), and candy is not eaten daily (maybe not weekly?) here. Part of me thinks "eh, it's just one piece from a birthday party." Part of me thinks "yuck! I'm setting them up to eat junk food!" Yet another part of me thinks "This can teach them about moderation and exceptions to the rule."
After 34 years of cavity free teeth, I have to have a cavity filled this week. I found myself throwing away a few pieces of candy that Caleb brought home, probably unfairly. So I ask you for your thoughts - what would you do with food you don't want to feed your kids? Should I have left it at the party somehow?
